I was born into a happy home. But looking back now, it feels like my life, as I knew it then, was only a fairytale that didn’t last forever.
When I was in my second year at senior high school, my parents got separated. It was an event that tore the family apart! My baby brother was two years and some change, while my other siblings were seven and eleven-years-old, respectively.
My mum cried a lot as a result of the separation; and even though it affected me, I had to step up to life’s responsibilities as the first child. It was tough on me; but I couldn’t complain, more so my mum was always crying, leaving my younger ones more confused. They could barely understand what was going on.
My baby brother kept asking, “Where is daddy?” or “When is daddy coming home?” I felt so sad. On the other hand, my immediate younger brother took advantage of our parents’ separation and became rebellious, blackmailing both sides emotionally and financially.
We went through several years of family therapy sessions. They were supposed to bring my parents back together, but they didn’t work. Both of them were already far too gone. Later I found out much later that they had fundamental issues.
Imagine waking up one day to find out that your supposed “perfect parents” who never argued for once were not as perfect as you thought. That was the situation I found myself. It left me wondering whether marriage was worth it. Often, I asked myself if I wanted to give any man the opportunity to hurt me the way my mum and siblings were hurt.
Till now, I seek God’s grace to heal me and my family of this hurt. I never had the chance to mourn or cry when I was younger. And over the years, I have found myself in tears because of pent up pain and frustration I held back on.
I know my healing process is gradual and same with that of my family. My parents aren’t re-united yet but we are happy nonetheless. Of course, we aren’t where we used to be—and I often catch myself feeling sad—but I cannot let the intermittent hurts steal my joy. So let’s just say: I am still a work-in-progress, just like my family and everyone else.