I’ve been a single mum for 8 years.
Although I was married for 7 years, it was an abusive marriage. I was beaten and talked down to by my husband and it really affected my self-esteem. It was a very difficult time, coupled with the fact that I had 2 children. The abuse got so frequent, I had to go to the hospital for treatment. I also developed high blood pressure.
One of the times a beating was going on, my son who was 3 years old at the time, started jumping up and hitting his dad, saying, “Leave my mum alone.” I had a flash of insight and understood if my kids kept growing up in that kind of situation, one day my son might decide to beat up his dad, in my defence. That was when I decided, enough was enough. I had stayed for 7 years because I was scared of what people would say.
When I left, I didn’t have a game plan. All I knew was my life was very important and I didn’t want my kids to grow up in such an environment. My older daughter was very withdrawn and fearful because of all the fights. My son was also getting aggressive. And, I had to resign from my job at a bank.
Reality stepped in, because it was a case of me going from grace to grass. A couple of close friends abandoned me and I once contemplated suicide.
I had a lot of bitterness against my ex. One day, someone called and said God told her to tell me to forgive my ex and pray for him. That was a terrible period for me. It took me 3 months to obey. Every time I opened my mouth to pray for him, curses would come out. I forgave him by the 3rd month. 6 months later, I got a job to pursue my dreams.
One thing that keeps me going is God. I know it sounds very cliché, but the truth is, my story is a story of grace and resilience. I still have some very tough times because being a single mum is not easy. Besides financial demands, there’s also the emotional task of raising kids on your own.