(Read the preceding part of this story on our website.)
(Part 2/2) I needed to see a Life Coach to handle my insecurities. She said to me, “Your life is stuck in looking behind you, listening to and believing the voices behind you. You have to start looking forward.” So she made me do different exercises.
We had a session where I just talked and told her everything I’d experienced and those deep feelings I had never actually told anybody. She told me my feelings were valid which I needed to hear because for the longest time I didn’t think they were. I remember her saying, “Now that you’ve finally said everything, how do you feel?” I felt free. I felt like I’d been keeping all this baggage in me: anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, lack of loving words growing up. Even when my daughter passed away, I couldn’t deal with the pain of losing her because I was focused on my past insecurities. I felt, “Oh people will laugh at me. This means I’m a failure.” The fear of failure plagued me. I felt like I’d failed as a mum. So many people had babies and they survived so why didn’t mine?
When I started talking to the Life Coach, I got to talk honestly and deal with all the emotions. The more I talked, the more I could think clearer about who I was and who God had created me to be. That period birthed, “My Light House”, a platform for ladies that have dealt with pain of some sort, including loss. I had never felt that free before and I just wanted to do the same for someone else. The more I gave, the more I was healed from all the things that plagued me.
Now I don’t need my husband to tell me, “You’re beautiful.” I realised I needed to find my validation from God, so I can believe it when my husband tells me I’m beautiful. I can be amazing and a great success and do the things I want to do because I now know who I am in Christ. I think that’s where the power is.
I’m still on a journey, but every day I feel more confident. I want others to know, “You are good enough.” Christ makes you good enough.