(Read the preceding part of this story on our website.)

(Part 2/2) My mum and dad fought a lot and eventually parted ways so I was pretty much an unstable kid. I didn’t get much affirmation as a child and at some point it felt like my mother hated me. I found it hard to express my feelings, so I always bottled things in. I felt there was something missing. I just wanted to be loved and accepted.

At some point my feelings were distorted. I remember watching a movie and a lesbian scene came on and it made me feel uncomfortable. I started to question my sexuality and it was really weird. Something in my head tried to confuse me. I kept repeating to myself, ‘I am not a lesbian’. There was a song by Israel Houghton playing one day, titled ‘I know who I am’. I started to sing and just broke down in tears asking God to please help me. I was engaged at this time so I just wanted to be free and not take the confusion into my marriage.

I took active steps and decided not to watch certain things. I guarded my heart and just kept praying. I knew I had to be on guard because something in my head kept telling me I may be a lesbian and I should try it out. It wasn’t what I wanted so I thank God for keeping me and saving me from that path.

I am now married with a son and for many years now, I haven’t had any of the issues I had in the past. It’s almost as if it didn’t happen. The events of my past have affected me in different ways but nothing is too big for God to handle. I am truly grateful to Him for being there for me even when I did not know or acknowledge Him. If God hadn’t come through, my life would have been a wreck.