I was nine years old when my dad told us he was travelling. We thought it was like the other times he went on business trips. Little did I know he was ill and was going for treatment and that was going to be the last time I would see him alive.
My mom was left to raise 6 young children all by herself. I would later learn that one of her sisters advised her to leave her children with her husband’s family and relocate to the US to start a better life for herself. They were worried about how she’d cope, but thankfully she didn’t take their advice.
There were so many promises from friends and family but most didn’t go beyond the promises. It was during that period that I learnt not to place too much hope and expectation in people. I also learnt to give without expecting anything in return as most of the people my dad helped financially and otherwise, disappeared. God raised help from unexpected places and proved Himself faithful.
I actually miss having that father-daughter relationship and often wonder what that bond feels like. Life seemed unfair in so many ways. I considered rebelling several times but the thought of adding my life’s problems to my mom’s kept me in line.
Along the way, I found a Father in God. Sometimes, I would get angry at him for letting my dad die like that. I can’t count the number of times I asked him why it had to be my father. I didn’t get straight answers to all my questions but I was able to draw so much comfort from knowing God.
The amazing thing is this; I am not where I want to be yet, but life is so beautiful and exciting right now. My siblings and I are doing so well, contrary to what people thought and even openly said it would be like over the last 16 years. A couple of years ago, so many people my dad helped, who made promises which they failed to keep, started showing up and most kept in touch. It’s surprising how I have no bitterness or resentment left in my heart towards them. It made me realize people would prefer to associate with success stories without being a part of the pain and struggle.
The fact that I have a heavenly Father who cares deeply for me, even more than my earthly father could ever have, keeps me going.