I was sexually abused by my mum’s relative. At the time, I didn’t know what it was. I just remember that on three different occasions he tried to penetrate me but was unable to. I have the kind of dad that if he happened to know, everything would bounce back to my mum, so I kept quiet and grew up with a lot of hate. I was a good pretender, because until now no one knows what happened to me except for 2 people. I hated the guy so much. If my mum wanted to leave any of my sisters with him, I would start shouting and no one understood why. I was very angry with people. I hated guys and I was really tough. 

After what happened to me, I started masturbating. I didn’t even know it was masturbation, till years later. Honestly, I don’t know how I stopped, but I just did. I also had a friend that was a lesbian who wanted to destroy my life, but before we were able to get into the act she moved from our neighbourhood and I never saw her again. When the guy that molested me wanted to get married, I planned how I was going to mess up his wedding. A friend I spoke with about my plan talked some sense into my head and told me that a lot of times we really don’t know what the abusers have been through. He said, “What if he was also sexually abused and poured his pain on some other person?” It really got me thinking and that was how I let it go. 

I believe God meets everyone where they are and I’m thankful that he has always looked out for me. I am in a good place; no longer angry at boys and I’ve even dated. *Laughs*.