I used to be a very fearful person. I’d worry and be afraid for no apparent reason. It began to eat into my relationships. I’d date without really consulting God but would convince myself that I had prayed through the relationship. At some point in my life, I knew I was living below what God had planned for me, but hey! I was just moving on because I didn’t want to be single. I was afraid. I just wanted to feel secure and safe, and of course I wanted to get married. So that fear characterised my life and my relationships. 

God was at work because he kept frustrating my efforts. He would literally cause something to happen, something that I couldn’t repair and the relationship would end. This went on for a while until sometime last year, when I really got to the height of it. I was in a relationship and things literally just crumbled before me and I was like, “God really? He’s not a bad person. It was supposed to be a good relationship.” He said, “Hey Tosin, you’re operating in fear and you’re doing things for the wrong reasons. Getting married isn’t your problem. Men are not your problem. You need to discover what I’ve told you to do so that when I bring someone your way, you’ll recognise him and you’ll know for sure this is who you should be with.” So I went before God and was like, “Lord you know what? Even if I never get married, I’m just going to love and serve you all the days of my life. I don’t care about relationships; I just want to be that person you want me to be.” 

This was what I was doing for the latter part of last year. I just began to love God and felt a burden lift off of me. I was free from fear. I had no plans to get married this year and wasn’t praying about it. It wasn’t in my prayer requests for the year. But the most amazing thing happened when I wasn’t searching. I met someone and had peace about it. We got engaged in 6 months and it was a surprise to so many and myself too. God needed to deal with all that fear, worry and anxiety while I was single and he did.